Andy looked up at Damian who was standing there, right out of his car. If anything, he had managed to unsettle him quite a bit.

“What are you doing?” said Damian, who was feeling borderline paranoid. He had come prepared for a lot of things, but certainly not that. “Why did you throw your weapon away?” He turned towards the bushes that the knife had gotten lost into and took his gun out. “Is there anyone else here?”

Andy shrugged. “No one else out there. I just felt like throwing the knife away.” He was still on his knees, catching his breath. Well, there was no way to bluff this situation through at this point. He may as well own it. He was old, he was tired and the thought of using a weapon against someone else now made him panic.

Damian wasn’t really getting it. He pointed his gun right at Andy, smirking. “Well, you’re either really overconfident or pretty stupid if you think you can get me bare-handed.”

“I’m not trying to get you,” said Andy. He put his hands on the ground and pushed himself off. Damn, he was lacking energy. He raised slowly, non-threatening but casual. This was certainly not the first time he had been at gunpoint. “I’m done with that life. I don’t kill people anymore.”

Damian couldn’t believe it. What a coward! If that was what age did to you, he hoped he would die young instead of being a shame for his peers.

“Good,” he said. “I guess that means you’re gonna cooperate.”

“What do you want from me?” said Andy.

“It’s pretty simple,” said Damian, not lowering his gun. “I want a written confession. What you know about the higher-ups and who you’ve been telling. Every leak you caused. Also, don’t try to make me believe you didn’t strike a deal with someone, with the kind of information you have on you hands. I will be upset if you attempt to bullshit me.”

Andy shrugged again and cleaned his dusty pants. “I’m gonna have a hard time telling you the truth if you don’t wanna hear it,” he said. He showed his empty hands. “I didn’t trade information with anyone. What are you gonna about it?”

Damian had to think about it for a second. That was way too easy to be the honest answer, without a doubt. He was bluffing about something, just like he was bluffing with the knife. Damian didn’t like what Andy was doing. He didn’t like feeling like he didn’t have the upper hand. The old man wanted to play a game, didn’t he? He was going to see what it was like to be played back.

“Old man, you do know that if you haven’t shared information with anyone, you’re useless to me, right?” said Damian, proud of his stratagem.

“Yeah,” said Andy immediately. He was done brushing his pants and looked at Damian straight in the eyes, ignoring the gun. “I’m well aware of this.”

‘Fuck this,’ thought Damian for a second, pretty upset. ‘Why isn’t he following the script? I should just put a bullet in his head and be through with it, instead of playing this stupid game of guesses.’ He strengthened his grip on the gun, gathering his strength, but changed his mind almost immediately.

“Old man, what game are you playing?” said Damian, regaining confidence. He was the one with a gun, wasn’t he?

“I could put a bullet in your head, but I could just as well put one through one of your knees and you’d be in for a world of pain. I wanna know exactly what you’re doing and why you’re answering me the way you do. Spill it, or I’ll punch so many holes in you you’re gonna wish for the last one.”

“Well,” said Andy, “I’d rather not suffer, but I’m not really armed for the debate.” He was feeling a strange quietness. Nothing like the calm he had on missions, back in the days, more like peace. He knew he was out of options and it made everything simple. “So, please don’t?” he said, at loss. What else could he say?

This was not the way things were supposed to go. The famous hit man was just a nutty old dude, he was unarmed, he wasn’t surprised, he wasn’t even begging. In his own peculiar ways, which were at times less classy than Andy would have liked, Damian had respect for his job. He wanted to do it well. This situation was not well. It was sloppy. It was a mess. There was no challenge, yet at the same time it made him feel uneasy, like he had missed something. Where was this disappointment coming from?

Damian finally connected the dots and slightly lowered his gun. To Andy’s surprise, he breathed in relief. “That’s what’s going on, isn’t it? You’re not a professional anymore.” He pointed in the direction of the farm with the hand he held the gun in. “I mean,” he said, “I had anticipated you would be a little rusty, I was even counting on it, but this? You look like someone who’s never held a weapon in his life.” He looked Andy up and down and sighed. “What happened to you, grandpa? How did you get so lame? There’s no challenge in this. I could off you right this instant, but a girl scout could probably do it too without much difficulties. I didn’t accept this job because it was easy, you know? I wanted it because it was risky, far away and because it would bring me a good deal of pride to be the one to finally put you down. Right now, you probably would be finished if you fell down the stairs. What’s the point?” he said, still talking to Andy. Obviously, Andy hadn’t prepared an answer for that.

He still decided to face the music. After all, if he couldn’t fight, all he could do was to tell the truth. “I wanted out,” he said. “What would have been the point of quitting half-way? So I’m not going to fight you and I’m not going to leak stuff to a third party, that would be against my best interests. You can believe me or not, that’s ultimately up to you.”

He thought for a while and added: “In any case, please leave the kid alone? He doesn’t know anything. He was just a driver.”

Damian felt tired. “Would you cooperate if I threatened him?” he said, hopeful.

“Not even,” said Andy, shaking his head. “If you think about it, there’s not much incentive to obey when what you’re promising in both cases is a bullet through the head. Also, I think I’m done obeying orders. I’m going home. Kill me if you have to.”

It wasn’t a bluff. He walked around the car and got started on the path that went back on the road. When Damian called him, he didn’t reply. In a corner of his mind, he was bracing himself for a the shock of a bullet.

No bullet came.

Andy went back to the farm walking and no car followed. Was Damian going to prioritize his job, his pride or just let it go? The mid-day sun shone on an empty bottle in a ditch. Andy wondered: would they ever be done with all of this?

The winter wind blowing through his jacket wasn’t much of an answer. ‘Well,’ he thought, ‘at least, we’re as free as we could be. Perhaps there isn’t a better answer’.

He wasn’t gonna stop looking, though and neither would Josh.

Wasn’t that the fun part, looking for something?

The end… for now.