The voice came from the old sun lounger. The blanket on top of it housed an elderly woman who sat up straight and smiled. She was wearing a handmade knit over a long flowery dress. She had quite obviously been watching them for while.

“Are you done, now?”, she asked again, in a steady, polite voice.

Andy and Spanky were stumped. They had been seen. Not just a bit, they had an observer from start to finish. Two men, burying a human-sized something in the middle of the woods: there was no bluffing their way out of this one. In Spanky’s head, the only question was: “Has she called the coppers already?”. If the answer was no, now would be a good time for Andy to make quick work of grandma and lay her next to the other one. If the answer was yes, then they needed out as fast as they could. But Andy was getting a weird feeling from the old lady. She looked and talked a bit… crazy. Eaten-by-her-23-cats kind of crazy. Could they not take advantage of that?

Not getting the answer she was looking for, the old woman jumped down from her furniture and decidedly went towards the men, the mound and the car, carrying her blanket with her. When she got near Andy, it became apparent that she was maybe half his size. She had small beady eyes which color could hardly be seen and a network of lines and folds running across her face and hands. Her hair was in a messy bun. She looked like a very old hamster given human form for a day.

She looked up, up, up at Spanky and said: “I take that as a yes, then. You’re done.” She left them here and carefully sat down on the blanket near the small mound. Without adding a word, she started praying.

Behind her back, Spanky was silently gesturing at Andy, something that looked like “End her!” (thumb across the throat) and “Now!” (index firmly pointed towards the ground). Andy simply gestured back to wait, and he resumed watching her.

In his defense, the old lady was performing a perplexing show: her head was bobbing up and down, her hands joined over the forehead while she whispered, almost chanted a kind of prayer.

She soon got up in front of a despairing Spanky and a seriously bugged Andy. “Thanks. I don’t have all day, but I still want to offer a little something to the departed when I can”, she said with a smile.

Andy gave up with a sigh. “I definitely don’t get you, miss, so let’s get to the point”, he said. “Are you gonna report us?”

The old woman made a strangely sad face. She came near Andy and lightly patted his right ribs as the shoulder was quite a distance away. “Boys”, she said, “you have been handed your punishment already. Don’t you know?” There was pity in her voice.

“Anyway”, she added, “I must be going now. That hill isn’t gonna climb itself down.” She made a few short steps, turned back to Andy and Spanky, and said: “Try to wise up, you two. Life is not always that kind.”

With that said, she resumed her gentle trotting towards the dirt road the car had come from in the early afternoon. Spanky grabbed Andy by the shoulder, whispering: “What are we waiting for? You really think she isn’t gonna rat on us?”

“Yes, Spanky, I really think so”, replied Andy. The same emotion that had shone through his armor the night before was back, he looked tired, peaceful. “Listen, I had enough blood on my hands as it is”, he said quietly. “If you really think of her as a threat, go grab something and end her. She won’t put too much of a fight, I bet. I can wait.”

Spanky went pale. “I’m… not much of a fighter, Andy”, he said. He furiously scratched his head. After a moment, he added: “Alright, that’s it then, I guess. I just hope you’re right, because we’re seriously screwed otherwise, eh?”

Andy had already gone back to the car. He started the engine, which got Spanky to come running, shouting: “Weren’t you the one who talked about getting our act together, man?”

---

The drive home was pretty silent. The roads grew bigger, became flooded with traffic. People going shopping, people going home, people going out. The grass sidewalks grew giant ads and became concrete.

“What was she on, anyway, Andy?”, asked Spanky, genuinely troubled by the old coot. “She looked really messed up in the head. Old age is trouble, huh.”

Andy did not care to answer. Along the road, the city grew. Soon there were more parking spaces than trees, then even more four-stories buildings.

Spanky, still anxious, was running the story in his head, checking how he was going to hide the recent events. Keep it cool. Nothing big happened. The guy took his own life. Didn’t even see Andy. Or maybe he did? Spanky would have gladly checked with Andy, but the guy had become rather mute in the last half hour, perhaps for the same reasons. How were the gonna explain without giving too much?

Spanky looked at the road and frowned. They had taken a wrong turn somewhere. “Andy”, he said, “I think you lost us.”

“Mm, yeah”, replied Andy. He found a parking spot and stopped the car. Spanky unbuckled, saying: “Want me to take the wheel?”, but Andy wasn’t moving from his seat.

“Spanky”, he said, “I’m not going back.” He relaxed in his seat, relieved from a weight he did not know he was carrying. “I’m going away for good. I’ve had enough, I guess. You should cover for yourself and tell them that, so you don’t get caught up in it.” He looked at Spanky and made a sad smile. For once the expression was real.

Spanky was incredulous. “So, that thing we drunk-talked about in the car, last night?”, he asked.

Andy nodded. “I’m doing it”, he said. “I’m not waiting for the day they decide I should retire and I’m pretty sure I killed enough for several lifetimes of sin. I’m done.”

There was a pause in the conversation. The sounds of late afternoon traffic came and went. Spanky did not even find an itch to scratch. “So, that’s it then”, he finally said. “So, where do we start? Do you mind if we make a detour, I have a few things I’d like to take along.”

It was Andy’s turn to hardly believe it. Slowly, the smile came back on his face, and it carried a profound joy with it this time. Then he looked at Spanky, and said:

“Do you mind if we switch, please? This city’s driving me crazy.”

---

This is it! Out of the introduction, they’re finally ready to get a move on. It’s adventure time!

See you next week ;)